I'm Back AND I'm playing catch up!

Hey Y'll!!!! 6 Months - I am SO sorry!!! I guess I just fell off the grid...

So I'll let you in on a secret - my life is a mess!?!? Holy HOT Mess!!! July 6, 2019 was my last post on here. I possibly over-extended myself with commitments and my dreams maybe were a little higher than the reality of our 1st year on the farm. We've had amazing great highs sprinkled with a few lows... This post isn't for sympathy or to air dirty laundry so please keep reading (assuming you've made it this far!)

For those of you who remember - thank you! That means a lot to us! For the rest of us who can't remember what happened yesterday - a recap... We started the farm last fall with Chickens & ducks - selling eggs - $2 a dozen...started out strong - Winter was LONG and life petered out in the coop - the egg production picked up in the spring, but then with the wanky weather it has been inconsistent since late June...pair that with excited 4 year old boys who want to help SO badly, we get a little over excited & sometimes loose those precious eggs at picking time - oh wait - then fun things like freezing weather in October!

But backing up to July - I had committed to Adair County Tourism that we would keep the blog up for the fun things and places to go locally - This was on our Summer Fun list...and then...we worked ourselves silly...as a child I apparently missed out on the fact that the farm always had a plentiful list of projects and things that needed done. Viewing life through rose colored glasses and all that jazz...I will be totally honest I didn't give my parents enough credit growing up...all things needed to do to make sure our 4-H & FFA experiences were good. I am now about 100% certain that while we thought we were making money - they were really just letting us keep the money and it was a loosing money situation for them.

I will 100% say that all the lessons learned were totally worth all the work the Hubby and I do; and I hope that my parents feel the same way. This year, B stepped out of her comfort zone and took on my favorite project growing up - Sheep! I will be honest - as with any other mother/daughter relationships we disagree on a fairly regular basis - this project stepped that up!??! But oh Lawd! The smile on her face at the end of the show made all the crazy days worth it! Reserve Champion Senior Sheep Exhibitor on the 1st year! Let's be honest though - listening to Grandpa Lance & Uncle David probably caused WAY more impact than anything I said :)

OKay - so I'm running away from my point here - but I want to point out that I was a mess this week for SO many reasons - some know some of it, but here are a smattering of the reasons...in photo form... PLUS the 4-H exhibit building for 4/7 as well ...

So here's to say July was a success! onto August - not as much of a success - the garden was a mess! I'll say it again - A MESS!!! Everything was good & then the weather would change and boom - everything is bad... over and over and over! I hit farmers markets & just couldn't come out on top - between lack of produce & lack of patrons & costs put into traveling...I admit it ... I was burnt out...my depression reared it's head & I decided to cut my losses & move on... This started some discussions on possible new projects...so that'll be a post later on.

So...in August, we were on our normal Iowa State Fair trip & it was an odd year - nothing to exhibit - nothing in the building...It was different. It was much lower paced (read-lower stressed!) But - between my depression being a little out of control and anxiety high, plus the start of regular headaches...it was a rough month. While at the fair I got sucked into one of the booths in the varied industries building - we all know the ones - they advertise "nerve work" - ending the pain - relieving symptoms of chronic headaches, back pain...etc... So here we go - as I struggle with yet another headache...The run this fancy machine down my neck & it shows nerve pain exactly where I have pain...and for just $40 a full consultation & plan to resolve...set it up now - discount special just for the fair... long story short - they're a chiropractic service (hey I do this already!) but in this consult I ended up with x-rays...this hadn't been done. So long story short for $300 a month with a 24 month plan of anywhere from 1-3 adjustments A WEEK! I should be fixed....

The overall outcome here is "Degenerative Disc Disease" - so fast forward to when I meet with my regular chiropractor Dr. Tim Jensen - he says yes it's true, yes we can do a plan, but if nothing changes with my body then no reason to keep treating the side-effects of the root cause. So...here is when I learn that breast reduction surgery is a possibility...terrifying but possible & is likely the root cause. So here is why the mom guilt really starts in - can I justify putting my family through weeks of recovery where I am basically a bump on a log. No lifting more than a gallon of milk. No laundry, no vacuuming, no standing for long periods of time...the list went on & on. Then it was the stress while we waited on insurance - I know I was so irritable. I started on my list of get ready for winter projects here (talking September) because who knew what the future was holding. This meant less fun things for and with the kids. This meant hey you guys can play outside on your own while we work...building a greenhouse, putting up snow fence, insulating the shop.

So then C & A participate in Little Cheer and E plays flag football! We ride the bus to school and come home, go to daycare a couple days a week when it's early out. We struggle with new schedules and expectations...we continue our Thursday trips A & mommy to ChildServe for OT and add speech therapy...we see progress... So here is a little reprieve from the mom guilt, but really it's always there, underneath whatever else is going on...adding to my depression. I'm exhausted day after day, and seriously they want fed EVERYDAY!!! Weekends multiple times a day! It's out to eat more often than not...it's junk food...it's expensive!

This bring us to a holiday - Halloween - I am saved by a wonderful "friend" of our family! Tonia is a birth grandparent to some of the kids, but treats ALL of them as grandchildren. She is so wonderful! She bought costumes for the kids and mailed them to us! We hit up a pumpkin patch this year with the Adair County Young Farmers program and got an inside lesson on McCurdy's Pumpkin Patch in Atlantic. Kids picked pumpkins - however - mom felt extra guilty for not carving them...the kids painted them and had a blast...so this is where we moms need to learn to go easy on ourselves...the children had fun. STOP! That's why we do all this anyway...break from tradition...it's okay!

We hit the annual Spook-the-Loop by Greenfield Chamber Mainstreet! Guys!!! This is SO much fun! It has grown exponentially the last few years! We can hop on the square anywhere and pop off whenever we're ready. Then we roll on down to the Greenfield Fire Station and have supper of hot dogs, chips, drinks, and desert provided by the Greenfield Firemates (wives of firemen!) These are all volunteers and support our community in many ways! We run over to Fontanelle and check out the "Herr House" Chad & Shawna have a scary house that rewards with a full size candy bar if you make it through the live zombie trapped in the coffin and the other scary attractions!

Next stop...next post!